Everyday is an unthought riddle.

I want the impossible. To be happy, and to have everything I want. I'm never 100% satisfied.
I don't believe one person can be my everything, but that everything can be my one.

I'm a Bzzagent

So there's this program online for free called Bzzagent where you can voice your opinion about free products, coupons, and more you can receive!

<img src="https://img.bzzagent.com/image/gladeExpressions.jpg?Type=activity&Activity=9365102339&Campaign=5855213675&Uid=1330610&token=d15f30dfa35bdfe28e43c57c87a841da" alt=""/>

FRIENDS, look at this site!!

GiftHulk – Earning Online Rewards Never Was So Easy –
It seems to be like Swagbucks, but their site is a little slow (for me anyway.)
You earn points for doing things like a Daily Poll, entering Fountain of Youth codes (like swag codes), doing offers/surveys, winning in games, watching videos, and more.
Amazon $5 is 169 points, and there's many ways to get points.

Sign up here please -  http://www.gifthulk.com/?ref=20730  (Would be much appreciated if you sign up under this link.)
Have a fantastic day or night!!

I really need you in my life but things ain't right.

Hey I went to the mall yesterday with Jason, and he supposedly got in the newspaper and made first place in a race and broke a record?
Cool for him.
I think I brought him down yesterday with my sadness.
I went to a funeral visitation for my neighbor Mr. Gary. :\ I hope he watches over me and helps me with my life.
The night before that, I was crying also because of Shalom Lor. He told me his final goodbye, and that he couldn't give me what I seek. Sigh.
It hurts a lot that someone you love more than anybody is blocking you and doesn't want to talk to you. I broke down in a house's bathroom, and fell down on my knees in the bathroom, just reading what he sent me. It hurt a lot.
Today is Sunday and not much is going on. I went to the library today and church.
I hope I get something in the mail tomorrow. I've been winning lots of stuff from online.

I don't know what I want from life. That night Shalom told me GoodBye and to stop talking to him, is the first night I was okay with suicide. I've never been truly okay with suicide, until that night.

I got this really pretty shirt that is striped black and white for the visitation I mentioned earlier, and some black slacks. The shirt is really pretty. :) I should go get more from JCPenny.

11th Grade

11th Grade has started and I haven't been too happy to go back to school. My hardest class is AP Chem. but I really wanted that class because of the excellent teacher.
Looking back on my previous posts, I am still jealous of the girl Jeremy is dating, but knowing him and his gf are having problems has made me happier about my whole jealousy issue.
Also, I still do crave a cutesy perfect relationship... but perfect is impossible. I'm so jealous of all the cute relationship photos online and on Facebook...

WaterFront is coming up and I want to go see Jason Derulo, since he sings my favorite song "Whatcha' Say." Too bad i'm probably not going... Oh well, i'll go see my good friend Kyle on Saturday instead hopefully.

I made a new friend the other day, C.J. from New Jersey, he's pretty funny.
Life's still pretty blah, at the moment i'm sick, but no pneumonia which is good.
It's weird thinking how i'm going to turn 17 pretty soon, then 18. I don't drive still, or have a cell phone.

I'm still with Jason... saw him yesterday and we were both sick. I first saw him run in a race for the first time, he got first place which surprised me. We went back to his house and yeah.

To talk about food, there's this pizza called Digiorno's pizza and it's the best pizza i've ever had!!

Jealousy?

Cute. This is just one of the thousands of pictures of happy couples...
It makes me wish I was someone else, and not who I am.

All the relationships I see, the happy couples, makes me hate myself. I don't know why. xD

I feel like a stupid kid, compared to all the happy couples I see...

Hello!

Heyy, it's been bugging me I haven't posted on this.
 Alot has happened, nothing bad.
Things are going great with Jason. We've had 2 dates so far, one to the movies to see Hoodwinked 2 where i got tickled alot at, and then we stayed after school and sucked helium in from balloons on the baseball field area and it was so much fun! We plan to go see Kung Fu Panda 2 on Monday! :D
Finals are coming up, tomorrow I have a math final.
School has been great because of Jason :) We hang out all the time in the hallways and he hugs from behind alot, and all the crazy relationship stuff!
Agh <3 I adore him.
He's not going to be at school tomorrow, he's going to be with family for something religious.

A couple days ago, I saw Shalom and Michael at church. It was crazy. I was at Martha's grad party at church and I get up to get food, and I see Shalom and Michael standing at another table and I look at them and they looked at me and Shalom smiled and waved. I kept waving like a dork, ugh.
They say love never goes away if it's real, the person who thought that up is telling the truth, it doesn't.
I talked to michael in the youth room and it was crazy.
I know Shalom wanted to talk to me... but he didn't... he just sat there across from us a little bit.
Sigh, I miss them. Even if Shalom broke my heart.

Anyway, yeah yeah lol. I can't wait till Monday!! :)
Hm let's see..... Pizza dipped in Ketchup is pretty good!