Hewwo Blog

Hi there! On Thursday I went on a Field Trip to the Shedd Aquarium! That day was so much fun! I made new friends which i'm pretty proud of myself for. I also made a new friend yesterday, so every friend is great! :D Jason is one of the guys on the Field Trip and the next day I met this guy named Anjulion ahaha.
They're so funny. :)
I went to Youth Night at church last night and talked with Pastor Nounou about some stuff. Haha. He asked me about what I meant when I posted on FB I felt like I was dieing.
Today i'm going to the library... It should be alright.
Tomorrow I might see Sean. Maybe.
For breakfast I drank Hot Chocolate. Hot Chocolate is amazing.

I had tests :|

Ay. It seems the world keeps reminding me to talk to you.
Hey, last time I talked to you blog was before my dad's birthday! I have many stories.
Well, the next day after his birthday there was this Coffee House at church. It's like a party, with food, and it was for donating to Japan. This party was basically teenagers haha. It was fun, listening to music and stuff... until this chick messed with me constantly. Calling me things and all of this. So I started talking back and all this... she must of been half asian or something. So I was outside right? Like, I went outside and i'm standing and I see this shadow of a person come up to me. She swung her arm and tried to hit my face but I moved fast but she swifted my face, hitting my glasses and grabbing my hair in the process. She didn't let go either so I did what I was taught to do if you were to hit somebody. Make it worthwhile. I swung my arm and punched her face as hard as I could. BAM. Then I pulled her hair and did it again. BAM. Then I kinda ran away. Haha. But hey, at least I did meet my new favorite rapper/singer at the party. :) He gave me a CD and I listen to it all the time. Dayday Fasho.
What else did I do this weekend, hm. It was a four day weekend too. On Monday I went to see Rio with Sean! That was such a great movie. Honestly, I haven't been on a date to the movies where I didn't make out the whole time since 8th grade, until Monday. :|
Today all the 10th graders had ACT prep testing. 10th graders are so immature when they're bored haha. I feel like i'm a senior when i'm at Jefferson...
I'm still finding where I belong. During lunch. In classes. In groups. With people.

"He's my main boy, he's the one that I want, he's the one that I need tonight."

Last night wasn't so great. My grades came in the mail. I'm doing more than twice better than I was at Auburn Gifted... and no progress to my parents. They still pick on me just as much... and I think they've beaten me down to a new low. My self esteem that is. I just looked down or had my head faced down on the table when they lectured me and even the rest of the day.
Oh hey. Did I mention I got skittles from a girl named Rosie, since she heard I punched that chick? Skittles are Rainbowtastic, making me feel yummy.

Hey Blog

Hello! I haven't written to you (blog) lately because I guess I haven't felt the need to. Which is good, right?

This week I was terrified I was going to die because of a large amount of pills (to get high) and my heart and brain and all kinds of things. My pupils were HUGE, It was so effing scary. Like, these are my normal eyes -> ( 0 ) ( 0 ) SHUT UP THEY DONT LOOK LIKE BOOBS. But when I took the pills, they turned to (O) (O) . But I am alive and i'm glad i'm alive, I wouldn't want to leave the ones I love.
My dads birthday is coming up, so this allows me to show him some real love.
In the mail yesterday, I got a piece of chocolate for free. BUT GET THIS. It was in the shape of a house. SO COO ;D Also my dad's bday present I got for him came in the mail also, I got it for free! I hope he likes it.
Last night I decided to go out with someone. Just to try. He'd asked me before but... I don't know, It felt wrong. I'm still worried. I feel weird. I'll try it and see how it goes. :)
Me and him are going to the mall today haha. I have to also get my dad a birthday card, I hope I fine one that is great :D
Want to hear something kinda cute and oddly from The Chipmunks movie? I dreamt I didn't have a family anymore. *says in cute voice* Yeah, it was sad :[ I also dreamt before that, it was about how my friend Jeremy and his girlfriend were at the mall and I was with my sister and we saw them. Then my little sister was playing with him and his girlfriend got super mad. Pretty retarded.
Hmm my dad's making chocolate oreo truffles :3 They're for the church tonight, we're going to watch a movie! OREO TRUFFLES ARE DA STUFF :D

Nonono.

Hi blog. I'm going to talk to you before I do my essay for English.
Today sucked but was numbed out mostly.

Today, I got high.
I drank half a 4 fl. oz. bottle of Robitussin. That's 2 oz. That got me messed up more than any other syrup. Though, i've only tried one other kind, but still. So yeah. I did it before 3rd hour, which is Chemistry. The class my friend Hailey is in, and the guy I like, Garry. When it is 3rd hour I walk into class.
He had these funny shades. They were funny, but cute. Mysterious. So, I don't know if he was looking at me, or anywhere else. During class, my high begins to creep higher and higher. It feels good. When I turn my head it numbs my brain because my vision goes to slow to adjust to the speed of my head. It feels good. So, I guess Robitussin makes me feel happier than the other syrup. To the point where i'm smiling and laughing just because I feel happy. Not the kind of crazy "laugh at a piece of bread or a book" laughing. Just a more happier me. One that isn't afraid of anything really.
Class ends, and I can barely walk normal in my head. Probably, I was walking fine. My mind is racing a bit, numb. We're leaving class and I exit along with Hailey. Garry is in front of her.
Now look, i've never seen him TALK to any chick over the months i've adored him from afar.
HE TURNS AROUND TO HER while walking out the door and asks her "you're broken up with your boyfriend?" and Hailey replies "yeah he broke up with me." Now, what the heck. Why would he care, if he's not interested in her? So, I begin to wonder about that. So I asked Hailey "does he talk to you?" and she's like "no this was the first time" or something like that. My brain was messed up at that time.
During lunch, I see Garry and I see Hailey. Hailey's alone (I asked if I could sit with her, because she's my friend. She kinda shrugged me off and told me to ask her friends. I didn't want to bother.) and Garry is too. They sit at the same row of tables. He sits at the one at one end, and she sits on the other. In the middle of lunch, he gets up and goes and sits in front of her. So, i'm freaking out. And freaking out while high is not good. It's twice and bad than when you freak out normally. So, i'm like almost crying at my table (seriously.) because i'm worried he likes her. So yeah. If he likes her, I know she's not interested, but still. It kinda hurts. It kinda hurts because:
1- she just got broken up, and right after that, the next day, he seems to like her.
2- she complains on fb, but everyone loves her. I complain on fb, but eh, everyones like "why do we care" and they show that by not saying anything.
3- The main thing out of all of this, or to summarize all of this is... i'm not jealous of her, nor mad, or any other bad feeling towards her. She's my friend.  But like, why does someone who's just as bad as me, JUST AS BAD, maybe worse because her life seems kind of bad, She's just as bad of a depression, maybe worse. Why does someone like THAT have more people giving her attention. More guys going after her.
UGH I DONT EVEN KNOW. Forget everything I said.
Hailey if you're reading this, sorry, forget everything I said. You can sympathize right?
I need to forget boyfriends. It's not working though :\
Yep. So, the guy I like probably likes her. Maybe. Not sure. I'll see in a few days. If he likes her, at least it's her and some chick I don't know. ^_^

I colored yesterday. They're really pretty simple pictures all over two pages. I like it.
I ate a banana earlier, it was nomnomlicious.

Hey Blog :)

NO SCHOOL TODAY!! My school has a power outage, so I get to stay home for the day. Weird huh?

Not much has happened that is so great. I went to the mall this weekend with Kacie and a girl named Sarah. It was pretty cool.
I've been trying not to be so down lately and it's working well. :)
At school it's been the normal, but in Chemistry I have the urge to stare :| &&& my friend Hailey, she's really nice. I give her notes sometimes, and she writes back. It's pretty cute!
That's about it haha, this is why I haven't really talked to this blog for a while.

Fries from Charley's are hot hot hot.

Will delete.

I can't keep quiet anymore. I've got to speak my mind. Garry, you are the hardest person i've ever fallen for. You have no idea what that means to me, or how much it means to me.
You're perfect in every way. You may think you're not, but everything about you is my type of perfect. It's become my perfect, you've become my perfect and everything about you has become my perfect. 
I've never liked someone so much, for as little we have spoken to eachother. 
I'd do almost anything you want, be anyone for you, but I hope I wouldn't have to be someone else for you, I wouldn't want to be fake. You probably never look twice at someone like me, but guess what? I bet no one you've met is exactly like me. 
I don't want to explode my feelings for you everywhere, but Garry I think you can tell I got alot of great feelings for you. 
I know what we talked about online last time, but i've taken months to think about what would happen if we dated. After those months, I still like you just as much as I did months ago and even more. Last time we talked, I declined to go out with you because you sounded like you didn't care if we went out, but I really wanted you to care. But if you really care and If you give me a real chance, and if you tried to actually date me, i'd try my best to make you smile all the time :) Give me a chance?
  

April 5, ho snap.

Hi Blog :)
Today was normal. I was normal. Everything was normal about me. I did go swimming in gym though :T but it was fun because i'm kind of bad at swimming, but I can swim but the rest of the girls had to go do pool laps or w.e and I just got to swim around and play with stuff like a huge beach ball and volleyballs and basketballs! It was pretty amusing. I have to be in the pool for 6 more days, that's when we're done with the pool.
Omg today's now been hilarious due to random convo's with Derek with our whole Black Eyed Peas moment with "D TO THE E TO THE R" etc from me. and him doing it back XD I posted a pic of it on my fb :'D I'm also having an epic random convo on my wall between michael, kate, samantha, and it's soooo random!
:) Today I ate a cup of strawberries with pizza and fries. THE STRAWBERRIES MADE ME THINK OF STRAWBERRY CHEESECAKE.... sooo memorylicious goodness

Back from Spring Break

Sup? Well, today is Monday and everyone came back to school. I rocked a new shirt and all this other stuff, pretty cool. I also painted my converse white last night because the white areas were dirty haha. Todays classes were okay. I was in the clouds after gym <_< >_> and it was fun and soothing. At home, the guy who asked me out hasn't really emailed back. Which I find bothering. So I probably won't go out with him even if he wants to date me.
Not too much has happened, a normal day.

A day where i've been reunited with someone who is more perfect than anyone else i've ever met, and i can't have them. ANYWAY, when I came home I ate so much food, mostly junk.
Candy, chips, and lots of cereal. I'm not sure what kind of cereal, Captain Crunch? I'm not sure, all I know is that it's sweet :)

Today was a cool last day of Break!

Hello Blog.
I think I just got asked out. Amazing.
I don't know what to say! He's younger than me, but he is cute. Haha. :X Maybe i'll say yes for just one date just to see.

Today was great! In the morning, I got dressed and stuff and went to the mall (my sister didn't want me to go with her) and we went to R. 21 and I got two more shirts, chyush. <- That's a "yes" but with a "ch" and a "ush." They're pretty cool neon colored shirts. I didn't see anyone at the mall, I was hoping I would. Then, my mom, sister, and I went to places like Walmart, Shoe Carnival, Target, and she went to Hilander while we stayed in the car. I got lots of snacks, omg, I still have snacks.
After the stores we came home and my dad fixed the computer. Turns out the screen was bad, but it's replaced now haha. It'll do.
I haven't done much at home, I have watched cool Sunday shows like The Simpsons and The Cleveland show :) Before that though, I was on facebook mobile and saw an email. An email of a guy asking if I was single. In my mind I was like "he's asking me if i'm single that means he wants to..." then I read on and yeah.
I should go on a date.
Who knew someone would want to date me at this time? :)
Well, actually three people do at this time. <_< .... COOL. I feel special :3
So tomorrow I have school. I kind of want to go, I have nothing else to do really. Tomorrow will be a nice day: new clothes. drinking pur drank (1/2 will then be left Dx) and then coming home to see notifications on facebook! I love notifications on facebook.

Mmm snacks, I want some now! I got... let's see... I got Reeses's cups, that white cookie hershey bar, doritos (i must of already eaten 1/3 of the full size bag already) and I think that's it. Or I could go eat some cereal. But those Flamin' BBQ Doritos... I couldn't stop eating them D; They were spicy goodnessss.

I havent talked to you bloggy :(

I'm sorry bloggy! But um I don't have much time. So i'll just tell you things without super extra detail like I had planned. Okay well lets see. I went to immediate care, did I tell you? I got medicine for my reaction. So i'm okay. I think it's because of the syrup, shhh!
I have been to the library and mall! The library was fun. The mall was sooo scary and fun at first. Scary because, I saw Sean and Kevin. At that time, which was YESTERDAY, I thought Sean hated my guts. :(

H-h-he yelled at me so much that day. I was so stressed </3 Like, at the mall when I saw him I was like "HOLY CRAP. RUN!" Like I saw him twice at the mall yesterday, and when I saw him sitting in front of Spencers I was like O_O I then yelled "RUN!!!!" more like, screamed so loud. And ran as fast as I could, lmfaooooo. I then ran to like, the middle of the mall on that floor. My sister then turns around and she told me she heard "RUN!!" and turned around and i was GONEE. So yeah.
I thought he hated me. I was so scared to confront him.
So last night, i'm on FB right? and he sends me a friend request. And i'm like "... he. He must of saw me run away. He must of saw my fear." so i readded him and asked him why he friended me. You know what he said?
He said...

I missed you so much, you mean so much more to me than you think.

That sums up what he said. He said those things too... so heart touching iouasdjawfasdmawiojre -spam spam- I did miss him. Since I hacked him on Facebook. OH. Yeah that's why he hated me, because I hacked his Facebook. Then he cussed and yelled at me for like, an hour. >_< But now, we're cool :3 Since last night we stayed up past 12 talking to eachother on Facebook. gyaahhh~

Hmm what else happened yesterday? OH. Well, --- wait hold up.
Ugh, this just happened. My sister just told my dad I have a blog....

SHEEEYYTTT. Watch as he tries to find it </3

Anyway, yesterday was a facebook-y type of day. My ex bycha readded me on fb earlier. More like, I readded him. Ugh. I'm going to get into trouble again. >_< nonono.
I don't know what I think of right now. All I know is, even our cute little comments are becoming too cutesy like for now. If I did ever date him again, against my parents will, which would be at Age (18), that'd mean i'd still have all this time till 18. I don't know. BBUUT, he's cool. I'll try to lesser down on the talky talk to him. It won't work, but haha! God does he read this?
He would be the only person to read this too.

Anyway, about guys. :| I miss my ex's....
but they don't miss meeee. I like, miss 50% of them. Lets see. Who have I dated.
B, S, N, Z, C I think that's it. But I also miss this other guy I haven't kissed. BAHA. But out of those letters, I miss like all of them except 3/5 of them. Relationship missing wise. >_< OH. But I miss this other guy, who like, totally rejected me. Only people at Jefferson really know about him. Teehee.
I need a boyfriend, a cool companion, either one :D

Hm. Oh! About the mall, I also got new stuff. Let's see, I got:
-A new graphic/novelty T-shirt
-Another one
-A bracelet
-Another one
-A cool hat
-I wish I got another one
-A lanyard that says "Legalize"  <- That's right. B*^($35
-A huge button for my backpack, it's so cute.
-Blue nailpolish. (I get bored, okay?)
-Purple nailpolish that is made by Nerds, and smells like the candy when it dries.
^ Yeah yeah, i'll post pictures when I get to it. Just for my sake :D So everytime I view my blog, I can go back to that picture and be like "..Cool."

I think that's it. I want to get my hair dyed :\ Or something. My mom says she wants to go get my hair cut.... :D
It's ugly atm. Half of it is 3/4 the other size of the rest.

Yuck, this post is making me feel desperate and lonely bloggy :( I erased like, a paragraph of stuff and wrote this sentence just now because all of it was stupid.
Tomorrow is Sunday! :O School comes on Monday. Time to abuse the pur-drank. -shrugs- I just call it that. Pur drank :D Yeah, it makes no sense to you, but bloggy, if you were in my mind you'd understand. ^^ But I think you are... I'm getting confused (not really, but I think you are.)
OR ARE YOU.
Btw, this guy named Pavee is so weird. Lmfao xD To sum it up... "Do you want my delicious milkshakes?" "I'm thinking of two kinds so it depends" "Just pick the delicious one in your mind!" "Okay both"
Lmfaoooooo. We're so weird c: We also talked about strippers, getting a hotel room, and how he won't pay for my stripper, and me turning orange.
Seems alot has happened since I last talked to you... hasn't felt like it. -hugs bloggy-
That's not weird at all.

NOW ABOUT TODAY, I went to a birthday party and then to church. Yep. There was cake at the birthday party and bbq chicken and oranges. They were all so good ;D